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The Parenting Technique Every Parent Needs to Know Now

Parenting is a journey filled with love, learning, and a whole lot of emotions – both for us and our children.

We all want to raise happy, resilient kids who can navigate life’s ups and downs with confidence. But how do we teach them to understand and regulate their emotions in a way that sets them up for lifelong success?

The answer lies in Emotion Coaching – a powerful, research-backed technique that every parent needs to know.

What is Emotion Coaching?

Developed by psychologists Drs. John and Julie Gottman, the Emotion Coaching Method helps children recognise, understand, and manage their emotions effectively.

Research shows that children who receive emotion coaching:

Develop higher emotional intelligence

Perform better academically

Build stronger friendships and social skills

Are more resilient in handling stress and challenges

It’s a game-changer for parents who want to connect deeply with their child while improving behaviour and communication. Emotional awareness, understanding, and regulation are key goals – not control.

The 5 Steps of Emotion Coaching

The good news? Emotion coaching is easy to start and doesn’t require an overhaul of your parenting style. It’s about being mindful and intentional when emotions arise.

Here’s how it works:

Your child experiences emotions long before they can express them clearly. Pay attention to subtle cues—body language, facial expressions, and changes in tone—so you can support them before their emotions escalate. This is obviously easier to do sometimes than others. A good time to observe is if you watch them during play or engaging in a difficult task. If you take a few minutes to do this then you will become a master at detecting the subtle changes in their emotional state – before the big change occurs!

Instead of dismissing or minimising their emotions, use these moments to connect and validate their feelings.

Example: If your child falls and looks surprised but not hurt, say:
“Oh! That was unexpected!”

If they start crying, acknowledge their feeling:
“That was a big surprise. Sometimes unexpected things can feel scary.”

This normalises emotions and makes your child feel safe expressing them.

Put away distractions, get down to your child’s level, and really listen. This communicates understanding and acceptance of the emotion. Show you understand by saying things like: “I can see that you’re really upset. Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” When children feel heard, their trust in you grows, making them more likely to open up in the future.
Give emotions names so your child can begin to understand and regulate them. Instead of “Stop crying,” try: “I can see you’re feeling frustrated. That’s a big feeling.” Children as young as 18 months can start learning about emotions through words and even sign language.
While emotions are valid, not all behaviours are acceptable. Teach your child healthy ways to express their feelings. Instead of “Stop hitting,” try: “I can see you’re angry. It’s okay to feel angry, but I’m not for hitting.” You may like to provide them with another outlet for expressing their emotions such as squeezing a pillow, or say, “Let’s think of how we can problem solve this.”

💡Pro Tip: When emotions run high, wait until things have calmed down before jumping into problem-solving. Timing matters! When we are experiencing big emotions, we are unable to utilise the problem solving area of our brain.

Why Every Parent Should Use Emotion Coaching

Still wondering if Emotion Coaching is worth it? Here’s how it positively impacts your child’s future:

1. It Enhances Emotional Intelligence

Children learn to recognise, manage, and express their emotions in healthy ways—skills that set them up for lifelong success.

2. It Strengthens the Parent-Child Bond

When children feel emotionally supported, they develop a stronger connection with their parents. This makes them more likely to communicate openly instead of hiding things out of fear.

3. It Improves Behaviour

Children who feel understood are less likely to act out. Emotion coaching reduces meltdowns and helps children develop better self-regulation skills.

4. It Boosts Academic and Social Success

Research demonstrates that emotionally intelligent children are better at:
- Making friends
- Handling conflicts
- Concentrating in school
- Navigating life’s challenges with confidence

5. It Prepares Children for Adulthood

Emotion Coaching lays the foundation for healthy relationships, mental well-being, and resilience that will last a lifetime.

How to Start Emotion Coaching Today

Starting small makes a big difference. Here are a few simple steps:

  • Be mindful of your own emotions and reactions.
  • Validate your child’s feelings before jumping into solutions.
  • Practice active listening—put your phone down and make eye contact.
  • Use emotion words to help your child build their emotional vocabulary.
  • Encourage problem-solving once they are calm.


Remember: It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present.

If you’d like to deepen your understanding of emotions and expand your emotional vocabulary, check out Brené Brown’s work here.

Ready to Become an Emotion Coach for Your Child?

If you want to help your child thrive by building emotional intelligence, resilience, and stronger connections, we can help!

We offer:


Start your Empowered parenting journey today! Click here to book a session 👉 

Have questions? Contact us today to see if our approach is best for your family.

Emotion Coaching isn’t just a technique—it’s a mindset shift that creates lasting benefits for your child’s emotional well-being, academic success, and relationships. Keep updated with our content relating to play, behaviour and parenting on Instagram or Facebook. 

Every emotion provides an opportunity to connect and grow.

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